I’m so lonely and that’s literally the core of my depression right now
I have never “needed” anybody, I had always just accepted them into my life because I wanted them there. But lately, I’m losing passion for everything that I used to love so dearly. I just wish somebody would come along and spark my fire and make me feel passion and love and lust and limitless and crazy again. Even if they break my heart… I just need someone to help me find my passion. My drive. I need a muse. Lately I’ve literally been so sad, like… So fucking sad. I can’t stand my body again, which if you know me, isn’t like me at all as of the past couple of years. I’m falling out of love with myself and my depression is consuming me. I feel like all of my friends are busy with their own lives, which they should be, ya know? But, damn… I really just need somebody who can focus some of their attention on me, and make me feel like they care about me, and love me. I don’t even feel that from my family anymore. I literally feel like I’m alone, without the perks of actually being alone. I still get screamed at every single day for something, I still have to be around all these people who make me feel even more miserable. I just wish someone could see how much I’m truly hurting. I just wish they would set me down and tell me that they truly love me, and they sincerely care about me, and that my existence in this world, isn’t as bleak and meaningless as I think it is. Everything is just sad to me.
"Please, I want so badly for the good things to happen."
-Sylvia Plath, 3 months before her suicide. (via sharingneedles)
I am so depressed
I feel so disgusting all the time, tbh. And I can’t even take a decent selfie anymore because every single one I look at, I can just see how tired and dead inside I am. My eyes don’t glow anymore, they’re surrounded by dark circles and they look more like an ocean you don’t want to go into because you’re afraid of what’s at the bottom. I can’t stop being sad lately. I can’t stop… Even when I’m laughing and smiling and seemingly happy… I just want to fucking cry. I know that makes me sound stupid and whiny and stereotypical but, I’m just so dead feeling.